Why Manny is Manny

WebMD is one of the greatest sites ever created. You list all the symptoms you have and then they tell you what condition corresponds with it. With this in mind, I started listing all of Manny's symptoms and was shocked to see the results. Here is a chat between Jason and I regarding these astounding results.


Jason: "that's cuz all movie games suck!" --manny

me: yet he buys a ton of movie games
manny is such a loser

Jason: forget all that he bought eragon and he inquired about iron man

me: he would have bought iron man

Jason: and he bought superman the week gears of war came out
he bought eragon

me: i played the game with him for a little
eragon is nothing more than a cheap knock off of the lord of the rings games

Jason: u know manny didn't know that he doesn't read gaming previews/reviews he liked the books and the movies so he decided to buy it thats his thought process

me: which is why he wanted ironman he liked the movie and saw the guy playing it for 30 seconds that was enough for him i assume if he was by himself, he would have bought it but since we were there he didn't get it

Jason: he would have, u know he would

me: manny likes crap which is why he went to missoura OH SNAP!!!

Jason: i think the only game that he bought that i've played is knights of the old republic
and i guess halo 1 and 2 but i'm not really into first person shooters and gears of war, but he pretty much had to be bullied into buying that game

me: gears of war and battlefront are the only games that he has bought that i have played

Jason: WHERE IS GEARS OF WAR?! WHY IS IT NOT IN ITS CASE?!

me: that night made me laugh so much

Jason: that was awesome i remember looking at him and thinking "you're the one that took the game out to play eragon"

me: especially when he almost broke his 360 and would have messed up two of his games

Jason: btw, i don't believe he bought the game for only 25 dollars

me: yeah i remember him saying he got it for 54.99

Jason: i believe that he bought it used

me: yeah

Jason: but used games aren't 25 dollars and he bought the game around when it came out

me: unless they have been out for over a year

Jason: so it wouldn't have been going for 25 on ebay who would put it on ebay for $25 when they could get like $30 something if they just traded it in at the store

me: i think he says $25 cause he sold it so he is subtracting the amount he made

Jason: wtf, that is so lame

me: this is manny

Jason: he could have rented it, and only played it for 7 dollars

me: manny doesn't think such complex thoughts

Jason: at least he is learning that movie games for the most part suck maybe one day he'll think to check reviews or rent a game that he's not sure about

me: yo son he barely uses the internet. i can't imagine not having the internet. if i don't have the internet for even a minute i feel weird

Jason: yeah, like when i'm on vacation i feel weird not going on for like more than a day. when i went to the phillipines it was brutal. the last day when we stayed at my grandaunt's house was only time i had real internet, cuz they lived by an internet cafe and there was this one time i went to this internet cafe by my grandma's house, but it only had dial up

me: ugh that is death

Jason: you're right, manny doesn't really go online

me: i can't understand why not. i never understand why some people don't use the internet

Jason: oh yeah, i live on the internet

Jason: are u in and is anyone comng with u? i'm gonna buy the tix cuz manny is a fag who doesn't use the internet

me: yo son i put some symptoms that manny has into webmd the symptoms i put are:
Body aches or pains
Dislikes change in daily routine
Low self-esteem
Muscle weakness
and Overweight
the number one condition for all those symptoms was... ... ... LACK OF EXERCISE

Jason: yo son, webMD is better than a real doctor that really does sum it up

me: yo son webmd can diagnose anything

Jason: they completely zeroed in on manny's problem although...it doesn't explain why he's so unmotivated he would only do pushups when i was telling him to do them. he went home to california and then sat on his couch for two weeks

me: yo son web md is the best here are the manny symptoms i put in:
Hair Loss
Impaired Social Skills
Lack of Motivation
Unusual behavior
Visible deformity

Jason: HAHAHAHA

me: and Sadness

Jason: i laughed at visible deformity and the girl i share an office with looked at me

me: the number one condition that matches those symptoms is: ... ... ... Depression

Jason: yo son, crying takes the sad away

me: number two is schizophrenia

Jason: i would say schizophrenia i know some people who've had depression

me: he's a depressed schizophrenic

Jason: and none of them were losers like manny

me: he's just like anakin a depressed schizophrenic

Jason: he would probably be excited if u told him that. manny is just a loser. if u typed in those things on webMD and it said "wow, this guy is just a loser" then i would think that it is the most accurate tool known to man

me: i just entered the symptoms:
Blank Stare
and Tilts head to look at something
and the condition to match them was a Botox Injection number two was lazy eye

Jason: manny doesnt tilt his head to look at something though he always has his head tilted. try tilts head while walking

me: OH FUCK!!! i have been focusing on his head when getting the symptoms but i just found out i can combine symptoms from all over i'm going to get manny's ultimate condition

Jason: YES yo son, u should post your results on the blog which we havent updated in forever

me: there is a symptom for Fruity odor on breath i assume they are not referring to gayness. there is a symptom for Uncontrollable verbal outbursts

Jason: YES that is a definable manny characteristic

me: yo son i just finished symptoms for the head and so far the condition is Depression

Jason: yo son, when you're playing 360, do u notice that manny sometimes says random things in his room not reacting to the game he's playing but like random, weird lines out of nowhere

me: yesh which is why i added the uncontrollable verbal outbursts

me: ok i'm done Here are the symptoms:
Blank Stare
Tilts head to look at something
Hair loss
Lack of motivation
Sadness
Unusual behavior
Visible deformity
Unusual facial expression
Difficulty talking
Uncontrollable verbal outbursts
Weakness (Arm)
and Weakness (Leg)

Jason: yo son, i'm excited to hear what the diagnosis is. i'm legitimately on the edge of my seat in anticipation

me: the top 5 conditions are:
5. Cervical spondylosis
4. Peripheral neuropathy
3. Muscle strain
2. Depression
...
...
...

Jason: AHHH i cant wait to see this #1

me: NUMBER 1!!!

Jason: i'm giddy in anticipation this is the most exciting chat ever

me: Myasthenia gravis! that is a chronic disorder that causes weakness and rapid fatigue of muscles.

Jason: wow